Colorgenics (2)

Hmm been a... unhappy week for me. Had some problem that occured. And I don't know what to do about it.

So i decided to do the colorgenics again. The colors i picked this time were different.



Is it that you are working - or even playing - too hard? Because it would seem that you are experiencing a great deal of pent-up emotion at this time which could possibly take effect and lead to irrational behaviour.

You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image. You need for those people in positions that matter to recognise your potential and to acknowledge you.

You are a rather inhibited sort of person. This could be the result of your upbringing or of your schooling, whatever. You are able to obtain satisfaction from various forms of physical or emotional activity but all in all you are inclined to be emotionally withdrawn. As a consequence of this you find it difficult to sustain any deep involvement.

You are feeling full of uncertainty and worrying over what you consider as missed opportunities. This is causing considerable stress and tension. You feel that there must be more to life than the constant pressures and anxieties - that surely life must hold far more opportunities than that which it has to date presented to you. You sincerely believe that there must be a simpler way to tap life's hidden recourses and should you be able to find that way - you could achieve your hearts desire. It's the not knowing 'how' that is affording you the constant worry. You are constantly probing and seeking - trying to ensure that at all times you are on your guard against missing any opportunity. 'Enough is enough'. You are anxious to avoid further setbacks. You are strenuously trying to make sure that you will not be overlooked and you badly need security.

There is that inherent fear that you may be prevented from attaining the better things in life - those things that you consider essential to your well-being. So you are prepared to try everything to prove to yourself that whatever you do or try will go wrong. This destructive attitude could come under the heading of 'a self fulfilling prophesy'. This belittling yourself is your method of disguising how hopeless and what a waste of time you feel that everything is. So now turn it about. As you 'think', so you are... So 'imagine' yourself successful. 'Pretend', 'act it out' and you may be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.



I'm surprised again. Well I think the whole thing was trying to explain a really really really vague meaning of that i'm lost. Which i really am. So it did a good job loosing me. lol.

I'M UPSETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! =

Somebody help me =X

Problem being proper.

A while back, when abhilash and lock were stil in NS, abhi introduced to me the Book of Pook.

Its sort of like a book about self-love in general. About how to deal with relationship problems etc.

The book of pook encompasses 15 lessons in its starting chapters. What this 15 chapters are, i can't just describe them, you need to read it yourself.

But basically it tells the story of a typical nice guy who falls in love with a girl and how his 15 actions, crushed his hopes.

Those 15 lessons are like the golden rules of dating, if i may put it. But thats not what i'm driving at.

The Book of Pook, mentioned 3 type of guys that exists.

1. The Great Guy
2. The Bad Guy
3. The Nice Guy

This 3 types of guys attract different types of girls.

The great guy and the bad guy attract all the right ones, while the nice guy finishes last. He is often left with whatever's left and thus is settled on by the girls, or settled for a girl.

If one falls into the nice category, he should aspire to be the great guy as the great guy exudates charm and manliness. stuff that girls like. He will feel great about himself too.

But why do girls like bad guys? Well, for one, the bad guy has a certain charm about them as well. They are are exciting, thrilling and generally fun to be with. They will do a lot of things to disappoint the girl but yet she continues sticking to him. Its sad but its true.

Nice guys do finish last.

Nice guys are people who are contented with how they are at their current state, refusing to change, but are unhappy that they don't attract the girls like the other 2.

I sadly, fall into the nice guy category and in the 15 lessons, i probably would do exactly what the loser in the story did, thus hindering any opportunities for any relationship. They are like the nice guys instinct.

I shall explain in brief some of the 15 lessons that apply to me.
Friendship - Abandon all hope ye who enter!
The word 'Friend' is tabooed. Once you become a friend, there's no hope of rising up. Though some beg to differ. I don't know about that haha.

Lol read through the 15 lessons. Then realised that actually not all of them apply to me now. lol But in some ways they do but its too vague.

Well, i'm a nice guy, i certainly am rather happy with the way i turned out. I enjoy doing things i like. I'm easily satisfied. Life for me do not need a lot of excitement to keep me happy.

But why for girls, its things like this that deter them? They want spice, flavor, excitement! Fun! Spontaneous activity!

I'm a guy who definitely don't mind trying out new stuff. I'm spontaneous. And fun. But in my own way. I'm not the one who usually initiates a meet up with friends to go for a certain outing. I'm the one who's used to be the one to say ok to everything. Does that make me look like i have no life, no preference/mind of my own?

The reason why i'm ok with going out for whatever activity, is because i honestly don't mind doing them, even though my hobbies isn't one of them. Do i have a mind of my own? Of course i do. I will NOT do things i don't like. And i can say that there is not many. Usually this are stuff that goes against my principles like i mentioned previously.

Ok, take watching movies for example. To me, i have no specific genres of movies that i particularly like, though i admit i like watching movies with like inspiring themes. But i do watch the others. I may say that i like watching those movies, it does not mean that i hate stuff like horror or stupid shows. And when i say i don't have a particular liking for them, it does not mean i don't like them. It just means its in my 'ok-to-watch-list'.

I admit, i'm quite a pain to be understood. I don't talk in straight sentences. I mumble. My sentences are riddled with hidden meanings and/or sarcasm. I can't connect my thoughts and my speech really well. I'm not expressive. I'm an introvert. If someone actually tries to understand me, even in a little little way, i would be happy.

That is how easily satisfied i am. Drinking coffee in a coffee club and talk with friend at night certainly won't be boring for me, even if i'm not participating in the conversation. I'm more of a listener, than a whiner. I'm quiet because i enjoy peace. I like the moon compared to the sun. Why? The moon to me, gives me a calm and relaxing feeling, whenever i look at it. I'm not a dog or a werewolf or anything lol but i'm a night person. Not that i enjoying doing things or activities at night but rather, its the serenity at night that i'm attracted to.

I'm a weird person. I don't like to reveal myself too much to others because i feel that its like intruding my privacy. I practice self control in using vulgarities in front of girls because i think that their ears deserve more respect. Its not that i'm not treating you any different from anybody, but just that i feel that its not right haha. I can't explain.

I believe that spending money for food, outings, activities or whatever with friends, is not actually spending money on those stuff. I'm spending money to "buy" time from my friends and spending it with them. I believe time is more important than those material stuff.

I'm uncomfortable with touch. I dunno why. I'm just uncomfortable with it. But i think in recent years, i'm improving in this area of mine. Not that i go around touching people or anything lol. but when people touch me, be it intentionally or accidentally, i don't get annoyed as i would used to.

I'm fickled-minded. I think too much. I don't express what i think. I trouble myself and others with unnecessary pressure even though i do not want it. But honestly i'm a result-oriented person. If it leads to nowhere, i won't like doing it. So with pressure, it actually forces some work to be done. But then again, if this pressure causes people to be unhappy, i would hope that it goes away.

I don't open up to other people. I only open to people i can trust. Even to them, i would hold stuff back. I'm not the sort where if you ask me about sensitive stuff, i will tell you. I'm not like that. I would consider a lot of factors before teling you. The are not many people i trust with stuff like this. I hope i would be better in this area because i will only keep myself away from friends if i ever have any problems. That's unhealthy. =x

I promised myself not to mentioned about matters of the heart in this blog. But i guess when one is troubled/confused/frustrated, It's easier to think when its put down in words. This is not an entry about "A newbie's guide to Kelvin's Mind".

Goodnight =D

Oh and the book of pook link is below. Have a read. It's quite interesting.
http://forums.hardwarelogic.com/f9/book-pook-9057.html